For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I
know in part, but then I will know fully, even as I was also fully known. But
now faith, hope, and love remain - these three. The greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:12-13
Usually, plants sprout and
grow spontaneously and organically. We don't really need to understand or
even think about the processes that are going on to make it happen. But
sometimes we need a plant to grow in an artificial environment. Then it
is important to know how the process works naturally and what the component
parts are so we can make it happen synthetically.
Usually, we find ways to
sooth our stresses spontaneously and organically. We don't really
need to understand or even think about the processes that are going on to make
it happen. But now we are in isolation from one another facing a serious
disease and an uncertain future. There is value in thinking about how we find
consolation naturally so that maybe we can recreate it in our new, challenging
circumstances.
It seems to me we find
consolation in three ways: in solitude, in communion with God, and in community
with each other.
Consolation in Solitude. This
is the specialty of Buddhism and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. It also
appears in Christian Scripture and tradition. It boils down to
deliberately thinking in ways that reduce stress and, because the mind is
influenced by the body, physically behaving in ways that do the same
thing. Most Christians are familiar with the Serenity Prayer (“God,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage
to accept the things I can and wisdom to know the difference”). In
the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus made the distinctly Buddhist statement, “therefore
do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough
trouble of its own”. And relatedly, “consider the lilies of the field, how
they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin”. I know there is a
great deal of allegiance to the idea that the content of The Lord’s Prayer is
beautiful, but I really don’t agree. What makes it profoundly comforting
is that it is easily memorized and recited at a moment of stress, and instantly
places the speaker in the content of the divine and eternal. It pushes
stressful, damaging thoughts aside. All these thoughts and actions
tend to relieve stress.
Communion with God. A person
of faith never feels alone. Perhaps the boldest assertion of faith is that if
you have faith you will find a joy not accessible any other way and of
exceptional power. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and
petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God
which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ
Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7) This is the great disconnect between atheists
and agnostics on one hand and people of faith on the other. The
former believes we are waiting for consolation from God through a miraculous
change in circumstances or a turn in luck. We know our consolation
lies in simply abiding with God.
Consolation in Community. Finally,
there is consolation in community. The Harvard Study of Adult
Development has concluded that close friendship is the best predictor of
health. A good friend of mine who is a social worker for a
metropolitan school system says that when he is presented with a deeply
depressed student, he tries to reconnect them to their social group. This is
the dynamic that caused the early Christian church to sweep the
globe. In John’s retelling of the Last Supper, there is no
mention of a Eucharistic liturgy and he offers no new theology. Instead,
Jesus lays out how cultivating community will spread the Gospel. “A
new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved
you, you also love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my
disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35
Consolation in isolation
corresponds roughly to “hope”, consolation in communion with God corresponds
roughly to “faith”, and consolation in community corresponds roughly to “love”.
We would expect St. Paul to value faith – communion with God - over any other
consolation. But he says the greatest of these is love. We are social
beings. The isolation that has been imposed on us is very difficult
to bear and deprives us of the most reliable and strongest means of consoling ourselves
and each other
I don’t know how to
overcome this new obstacle to community. The threat of COVID-19 is a
dark cloud that is hard to shake in isolation. I appreciate the
efforts of churches to provide remote services and sermons, but no mass-produced
online content has successfully taken the place of physical proximity for
me. Fortunately, the situation is unpleasant but not overwhelming so
far. I am fortunate in that I am only in relative isolation and
still have the community of family. I suppose the best we can do is to cultivate and rely on
the other two forms of consolation and to be sensitive to the needs of those who
are not in isolation with family members, or do not have access to the other
two forms of consolation.
Photo: Rembrandt's St. Paul
